Sample excerpt
A growing company often adds new procedures as problems come up. Over time, those procedures can become difficult for employees to follow because the information may live in several places. Some instructions are shared by email, some are mentioned during meetings, and others are passed from one employee to another. When this happens, the company may believe it has a process, while employees are actually relying on memory and informal habits.
Sample editorial comments
1. Clarify the core point
The opening is strong, but the paragraph could state the main takeaway earlier: scattered procedures
create inconsistency even when the organization believes a process exists.
2. Watch repeated ideas
The references to information being stored in several places and shared through several channels are
closely related. Consider tightening these into one concise example.
3. Strengthen the
transition
The final sentence introduces an important contrast - formal process versus informal habit. That contrast
could be emphasized because it appears to be the paragraph's key insight.
4. Preserve the author's
tone
The language is accessible and professional. I would keep that tone rather than making the passage
overly technical or academic.
Editorial summary
This passage has a clear business focus and an approachable voice. The strongest idea is the gap between having written procedures and having procedures employees can actually follow. I would preserve that central idea while tightening repeated examples and strengthening transitions. Across a full manuscript, I would also track terminology, tone, section structure, repeated themes, and places where the reader may need additional context. Possible delivery formats: tracked changes, margin comments, section-by-section notes, and a concise editorial summary.